In a healthy relationship, people collaborate. They share goals, ideas, and effort. If Jack heads up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jill might say, "You know, we went up there yesterday and we fell down the hill. Let's do something else." The next day, Jill might want to join Jack in a pickup baseball game. When she holds the bat incorrectly, Jack might say, "I think you better choke up on that bat or you're not gonna get a hit."
In a healthy relationship, each takes the other's advice to heart, even if they don't accept it right away.
When we are stressed, or we are unsure about how much we are loved by the other person in the relationship, we might respond with anger. "You can't tell me what to do! It's your fault we fell down the damn hill!"
If you're having a difficult moment in a relationship, ask yourself if you need to listen and take direction rather than getting offended. Or ask your heart to take courage and, with love, tell your partner something they need to know.
How much we treasure a healthy relationship with someone we love and who we know loves us! Even then we might have difficulty when our partner makes a suggestion, but most often it's good for us.
That's part of why so many of us look back with fondness to our parental home, or to a tough training program, or to some other situation in which we had to take direction. We didn't always like it at the time, but it changed our lives.
Yes, we need to follow the small still voice within. We need to trust ourselves and our own vision and our own goals. And yet we must never forget that while we sometimes don't like to be told what to do, most often it's good for us.